Identity
by lvrofreading
Summary: This is the love story of Revan and Carth as they struggle to find out who they really are and who they are meant to be. The story is mainly cannon but will have important differences later on. Rated M for language and adult situations in later chapters.


**Disclaimer: Bioware owns Kotor and all characters and dialogue associated with it, expect for Alora Bell, she is mine. **

**This is slightly cannonish run through of the game. There will be some important changes but I can't say what, it's a surprise.**

**Identity Chapter 1: The Beginning**

"_This is no fairy tale. There will not be a happy ending. This story is not told for my benefit nor my forgiveness. I do not ask for absolution for there is none. I do this not for redemption for there can be none. What has been done is done and cannot be changed. I just want you to know, whoever you are, that what I've done was done for the good of the galaxy. Know that, no matter what, I tried."_

"Miss Bell?" A stern voice startled the young woman back into awareness. Alora Bell cocked her head to the side to see who had so rudely interrupted her sleep. She pushed her shoulder length golden locks behind her ears to give her a better view.

"What do you want?" Her voice was raspy though she had been told it was only temporary; a possible side effect of the fire that she could not remember. Loss of memory, she was also told, was a sofe affect of the attack. She had a nagging feeling that she was forgetting something, something serious, but she could not remember what it was. It was starting to make her anxious.

"I am Captain Gordel with the Republic Navy and I would like a moment of your time." The well-dressed officer waited for her response and when she gave none he assumed it was safe to proceed. "Do you remember how you came to be here?" He gestured to the surrounding room located in one of the finest Med Centers on Coruscant.

"The medic told me that my transport was attacked by mercenaries."

"Do you remember the attack?"

Alora shook her head faintly. "No. I remember being on the ship but I do not remember what happened before or after. Though the medic said it may be due to my head wound. My memory could return or it might not."

The Captain exchanged a look with a cloaked woman in the corner. Her brown and tan robes signified her as a member of the Jedi order.

Alora narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Why is my health a matter of Republic concern? Are you after the mercenaries that attacked us?"

Instead of answering, Gordel changed the topic. "Your captain, Butler, was wanted for several fraudulent charges Miss Bell and you often walked the fine line between legality as well." The officer peered down at her from the bridge of his nose. Alora scowled inwardly at his tone but kept her face perfectly blank.

"Are you here to arrest me?" She asked simply, her eyes leveled on the Jedi in the corner. The burly officer shook his head.

"No, we are here to offer you a real job. We want you to work for the Republic Navy."

"You can't possibly be serious." Upon the nod of confirmation she eyes them suspiciously. Something was not right. "Why me?"

"Your skills would be an invaluable asset to the Jedi on their voyage." He gestured to the older woman in the corner who stepped forward. She was a pretty woman with sharp features but kind eyes. Her jet black hair was pulled into a bun at the back of her head. "This is Jedi Master Lonna Vash of the Jedi Council."

Alora nodded politely, her curiosity spiked.

Master Vash stepped up to Alora's bedside. "You have an amazing ability to understand a large variety of languages and your skill as a fighter proceeds you and would be most welcomed on our mission."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Of course," Vash assured her, though the flicker in her eyes seemed to say otherwise. Was that panic Alora noticed? "We are only offering you a chance for a better position than the one you had before."

"There were fewer rules and regulations with my old position," Alora reminded them evenly. Gordel snorted in response.

"We provide order and stability and a chance to do some good in the galaxy. What is wrong with that?"

Alora scoffed. "Do you think I care for doing good? I have always been out for my own gain. There is no profit in kindness." Vash leaned in closely; Alora could see the golden flecks in her gaze.

"I have read your record. You have do not break the law often but when you have it has always been for the well being of others less fortunate." Alora shifted her gaze, knowing the Jedi had called her out and lying to a Jedi was futile. In Alora's profession kindness was a sign of weakness and men did not respect it. She had always hidden her compassion but apparently not well enough. "We need someone like you for our mission, with you on board I believe it will be a success."

Alora did not reply immediately, instead turned her gaze at the small window in her room.

"You are mistaking me, Master Jedi, for someone who gives a shit about your 'voyage', there is nothing for me to gain by joining up with you. I had something important to deal with before the mercenaries interrupted me. I may not remember it right now but my memory will return to me and then I will get back to what I was doing." She glanced at each one in turn before finally leveling her gaze at the Jedi. "Nothing you can say will make me change my mind."

* * *

Two weeks later Alora was sitting in a Cantina with a raw Sith recruit ogling her chest while she contemplated ideas for gaining information while she and the Captain of the Endar Spire were stuck on this Maker forsaken planet. Taris had proven as unexciting as the man made it sound when he explained their location when she first woke up. The locals were snooty and prejudiced and Alora was tiring of them quickly. She and the Captain had been stuck on this planet for three days now and there was still no word from Bastila, the Jedi Prodigy. In the meantime they had spent most of their time gathering information and Alora had won several rounds in the dueling ring to earn some extra credits. But the money would not last forever. If they did not find Bastila soon then the Sith would find her first or find them and throw them both in prision.

Yun stared at her expectantly and Alora realized she had missed his question.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." In truth she really did not care what he had said but since the Sith were the ones occupying the planet it was in her best interest to play nice. For now.

"Some of my other squad mates are having a party tomorrow night after our shift ends. We aren't even going to drop off our gear at the base; we just want to start the drinking. I'd love for you to come."

"Yeah, sure," Alora said dismissively but Yun missed the hint.

"Great! Here's the location," he handed her a small datapad. "See you there."

"Yep." Alora drained the rest of her piss poor excuse for a drink and cursed the day she was conscripted into the navy. That damn Jedi had to be the smoothest talker she had ever met. One minute Alora was refusing the position the next morning she woke up on the Endar Spire and was being screamed at for not making it to orientation. She had to admit that the trip had not been all bad, the food was slightly better than the crap Butler kept on his ship. Yun disappeared into the crowd and the young woman breathed a sigh of relief.

She spotted her captain as he entered the cantina. In fact she would have to be blind not to see him. Carth Onasi rounded the corner, his orange neon sign of a jacket lit up the darkened bar.

When they first began explorations Carth quickly shucked his officers uniform and put on a typical civilian garb but then pulled out the gaudiest jacket imaginable.

_Alora threw up her arm in front of her eyes. _

"_Please turn it off," she cried out in mock horror. "It's too bright!" Carth rolled his eyes._

"_Cute." He slipped an arm through one sleeve. "It's either this or my uniform."_

"_I think the uniform might be the better choice. That jacket just screams 'look at me! I have no fashion sense!'" _

_He sighed in irritation. "It's this or nothing, ok?"_

_Winking at him, Alora proceeded to give the attractive man a once over. "Let me see your nothing first so I can make an informed decision." Carth did not reply other than the faint blush that spread over his cheeks._

He plopped down next to her at the bar and ordered a shot.

"What did you find?" Alora probed. He did not look happy.

"Most people think that the rest of the escape pods landed in the Undercity. That is probably where Bastila is."

"So what are we waiting for?"

"There is a Sith guard blocking the only elevator to the Lowercity. Only those with proper clearance or other Sith can get down there."

"Do you have any ideas on how to get past the guard?"

Carth shook his head. "Not yet but I'll think of something."

They sat in silence, sipping on their drinks. Alora studied the man next to her. He was a handsome man with a strong jaw and tight muscles. His auburn hair was brushed back neatly expect for two stubborn locks that refused to stay in place. Alora had never been a beard girl but she found his darkened facial hair to be surprisingly sexy. He was certainly attractive but she knew very little about him. Carth had only given basic information when she asked about him. He had gotten very upset when he mentioned the destruction of his home planet and had dropped the subject entirely. She had not asked him anything since.

"Hey Carth, can I ask you some more questions now?"

The older man shrugged, a mischievous glow settled in his dark eyes.

"Sure," he took a sip of his ale. "I'm all ears, Beautiful."

Alora rocked back in her chair, startled. Carth was the very definition of the strong but silent type and Alora had yet to break through his defenses. She decided to play along and see where it went. It was just flirting, nothing more.

"Beautiful? Isn't that a little inappropriate?"

A grin formed at the corners of his mouth. "Don't get yourself in a twist over it, Gorgeous. I didn't mean anything by it."

"Now you are just making fun of me."

"Perish the thought. If it'll make you feel better you can call me something." She bestowed upon him a dubious glance. "Go ahead, I can take it."

"Sexist worm?"

"Is that it? You can do better than that."

She racked her brain for the most painful insult but the best she could do was, "lice-ridden bantha!"

He laughed heartily. "Well that is a little better. Beautiful doesn't sound so bad in comparison now does it?"

Alora smiled coyly. "You are such a pain."

He winked and took another swig. "Guilty as charged." He looked up at the vid above the bar assuming the conversation was over and Alora realized that he had been flirting with her to distract her and not because he he wanted to. She was surprised by how much that stung. Carth turned back to her, a curious gaze on his face.

"Can I ask you something?" She nodded; happy he wanted to continue their conversation. "I've been going over the battle in my head and something just doesn't feel right. Can you tell me what happened from your perspective?"

"I wasn't in a position to really know what was going on. I was asleep when we were attacked."

He nodded slowly in agreement. "The battle began so fast, it's anyone's guess as to what really happened. We lost the ship and a lot of good people. It's amazing that any of us lived to tell about it." He stopped talking and ordered another drink. The Tarisian ale was starting to affect her senses; she would have sworn he was giving her a suspicious glare. "It seems a bit odd that someone Bastila specifically requested at the last minute happens to be one of the survivors." She assumed he was refering to her, since she didn't know of any other survivors.

"I didn't know Bastila requested me, I don't know her."

"You were one of the numerous 'requests' the Jedi made when they came on board. They practically took over my ship! Considering your connection to the Jedi, whether you know it or not, your presence here seems a little…convenient."

Alora studied him closely, not quite believing what she was hearing. "I'm sorry, are you implying that I had something to do with the attack?"

"No, well, maybe. You have to admit that you being here is a little odd."

"I had nothing to do with it, Carth," she replied earnestly, she did not want him to think her a traitor. For some unknown reason his opinion mattered to her.

He held up his hands in defense. "I suspect you're right and I've got no reason to doubt you, I'm just trying to sort things out. But I learned a long time ago not to take things at face value. I hate surprises."

Alora scowled deeply and drowned the last of her drink. "Are you always this suspicious?"

"Look it has nothing to do with you, personally. I don't trust anyone and I have my reasons." He shushed her with a finger in her face. "No I am not going to discuss them with you. We need to get back to more important things."

She swiped at his finger. "I consider this important."

"Fine, we can talk about it later but right now I need to figure out how to get past the guard." Alora reached into her pocket and pulled out the datapad Yun had given her. She dropped it in his lap.

"Here you go."

"What is this?"

She winked. "It's our way into the Lowercity. I was invited to a Sith party tomorrow night. The fool stupidly told me that they will have their armor with them. So we take the armor and disguise ourselves and the guard will be none the wiser."

"I don't think it is a good idea to go to a party full of Sith troops. And then try to steal from them."

"Do you have another idea?" He looked away, irritated that he did not have another plan. "We are running out of credits and no one else will fight me in the dueling ring. We need to find Bastila and soon."

Carth ran a hand through his hair and released a frustrated sigh. "Fine we will do this your way. I just hope this works."

The next night they showed up at Yun's apartment. The young man was thrilled to see Alora but scowled at Carth until Alora introduced him as her cousin. Three hours later they were still at the party. There were too many people to risk grabbing the gear and making a run for it. Plus Yun had no intentions of letting Alora go anytime soon. Carth watched her take a seat next to Yun. She leaned in close and whispered in his ear. Yun, who was already drunk, laughed obnoxiously and ran a hand down the smooth expanse of her thigh. Alora cast a glance at Carth and smirked. He knew she was still pissed about his accusation from yesterday and she was just trying to irk him. What surprised him was that she was succeeding.

A small flame burned in the pit of his stomach but he ignored it. He had no right to be jealous about the way she leaned into Yun and the way his hands wandered down the small of her back. Alora was nothing more than a soldier under his command, even if she was the most attractive soldier he had ever served with. Her curls bounced with every step and framed her tanned face perfectly. And he would have to be blind not to notice the way her voluptuous curves were enhanced by the form fitting outfit she pranced around in; completely oblivious to the lustful gazes she received by other men. Carth noticed however and with each look he found himself walking just a little bit closer to her.

Carth shook his head, clearing his mind. He had only known her for four days. Not only were such thoughts inappropriate, they would only lead to heart ache. He had been through enough pain and could not handle anymore. Though a small part of him did admit that flirting with her was…enjoyable. As long as he kept it to playful flirting and nothing more then maybe it wouldn't be a problem.

With a resigned sigh Carth finished off the last of his ale and looked around for Alora who had disappeared from her seat at the makeshift bar. He found her in the next room dancing with Yun amidst several other people. Everyone was laughing and having a great time, just enjoying their night off. Carth had to remind himself that these people, these children, were Sith. They all too accurately resembled the Republic's own young soldiers during their off hours.

Yun was currently trying to grope Alora's backside but she deftly moved the offending hands when they came too close to a potential target. Carth clutched his fist and made a move to step in but Alora led Yun over to the nearest couch where he promptly passed out, a happy grin on his face.

A quick scan of the room showed that most of the party guests had followed suit and had taken sleeping positions in all areas of the dingy apartment. Alora disappeared from view momentarily but quickly returned with her pack full of metallic gear. Carth did one last check to make sure no one saw them with the stollen goods before giving the signal to leave.

They made their escape into the darkness, the beaming stars and luminescent street lights guided their way back to the borrowed apartment they were squatting in. Alora, who had a little more alcohol then she should have, promptly slumped into bed fully clothed. Within minutes Carth could hear the steady breathing evident of sleep. He watched her, entranced by the rise and fall of her chest, a peaceful smile danced upon her luscious lips. He went over and pulled off her boots before tucking the thin blanket over her petite frame. He settled into the bed next to hers and drifted off into a restless sleep.

**I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter, please feel free to R&R and let me know what you think.**

**Taris is so boring to me and it is probably the least favorite of all kotor fans so I will try to be done with Taris in two more chapters or less. **

**PS: There was a dragon age line in there, can you find it?**


End file.
